Paul's teaching to both husbands and wives should cause us to be very discerning about the content of the "how-to" books on marriage. Paul's teaching on marriage is not like the teaching of most marriage manuals. Most books on marriage are based on this kind of motivation: "How can I have a successful, happy, and fulfilling marriage?" The Bible starts with a very different motivation: "What is God's purpose for marriage, and how can my conduct as a husband or wife fulfill this purpose and thus bring glory to God?" Let us not deceive ourselves by thinking that following Paul's teaching will guarantee a happy a fruitful marriage. It could lead to a divorce, as Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 indicates. Being a godly husband or wife doesn't assure you of having a happy and successful marriage. Righteousness often leads to persecution and suffering, and this may happen at home (see Matthew 10:34-36; see Micah 7:6). The marriage manuals seem to equate loving your wife with making her happy, and so they encourage husbands to wash the dishes and to do the kinds of things which wives desire. This is not bad, in and of itself. We should seek to please our mate (see Romans 15:1), but our ultimate goal is to contribute to her purity and godliness. This may require decisions and actions which are not welcomed and are certainly not warm and fuzzy. If our Lord has chosen to employ suffering for the purification of his church (see Romans 5; 8; Hebrews 12), then surely the husband may also chose the uncomfortable way as a means to godliness for himself and his wife.